if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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