My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
