i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize