What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
