are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
