that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you would pick up someone in the library
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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