I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
