fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
