I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
