Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
