NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
