You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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