I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
