I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
