I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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