I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
