Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize