Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
