You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
