Heybabeimwearingurpanties
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
