I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
