office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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