shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Watching her eat just hurts me
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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