beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
