I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
