TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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