Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My hand turned me down
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
