My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
