she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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