you guys were way drunker than both of me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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