Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
