I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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