I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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