Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
