Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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