the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
