I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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