So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The beer is more important than you right now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
