I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
