So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
