So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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