I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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