dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
