finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
