Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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