Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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