So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
