she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
