I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
