You smell like stripper and shame
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
