They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
