so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
