i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
