I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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