But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
