Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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