WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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