i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Im part way to drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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