we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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