how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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