Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
