Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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