the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Still dying that you shit outside
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
