i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just pee around me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize