either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
