y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize