Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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