Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
