I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
