she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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