I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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