It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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