I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
