i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
These tits shall not be calmed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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