Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
