I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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