her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
