I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
