Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
