JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize