Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
