Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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